Trading Places

Calli Tyler Photography (c) 2013

Calli Tyler Photography (c) 2013

This is what I’d like to be doing right now.

My amazing husband got me a pistol for Christmas and I have only shot it twice; one of those times being yesterday. I was having so much fun plinking away at the steel targets. That has got to be one of my favorite sounds.

Unfortunately, having kids (and lack of personal funds) really limits the amount of time I get to spend at the range. I’m sure MANY moms can relate – maybe not the range specifically, but fill in the blank with ANY hobby you enjoy. Whether you’re a stay at home mom, working mom, single mom, married mom, mom of one child, or a mom of twelve children, we all know how it feels to really want to go do something and not be able to whenever we want.

One of my favorite things to do, pre-children, was to go spend the day at the beach on my day off from work. I would wake up at 9:30, put on a suit, tank top, flip flops, shorts, and grab my dog. We’d be loaded in the car and on the road by 10:00. Arrive at the beach around 11:30 and then we wouldn’t leave until it got dark. Charlie had fun playing in the sand (not really – he hates the beach) and I got to work on my tan and relax.

It would be a dream come true to do that just one more time.

I love all the time I get with my children, but you lose a lot of freedom when they arrive. That’s just a sacrifice you make when you have kids. The thing that really gets to me though is how taboo it is for moms to talk about MISSING that freedom.

We’re not saying we would ditch our kids on the side of the road so we can score a couple of hours having brunch and mimosas with our girlfriends or that we would trade our kids in for a night on the town – we’re just bitching about what a pain in the ass it is to have to find a trustworthy sitter, pay for said sitter, make plans, PRAY the kids don’t get sick and cause plans to be cancelled, and then be home at a “reasonable hour” so aforementioned sitter isn’t ticked off at you and never wants to babysit for you again.

Not to mention how frustrating it is to have your entire day scheduled around someone else. Even if you’re a working mom, you do this to some degree. Wake up at the crack of dawn, get yourself ready, get kids ready, make breakfast, be out the door by 6:30 justtttt in case you get stuck behind a school bus at 7:00 or caught in school traffic, arrive at daycare at 7:30 (after getting stuck behind a school bus… three times), drop off kids, arrive at work at 8:02, freak out because you’re late, leave work at 5:00 and speed so you get to daycare by 5:45 so your kids aren’t the “last one.” Yeah. We all plan our days out around our kids, to some degree. And it’s TIRING.

The other day I caught myself thinking, I really wish I could trade places with my husband, just for one day.

Simply because of this: I’m envious.

Not because I think he has it easy (he’s military – his schedule is unpredictable and he deals with a lot of idiotic issues) or because I think he can do whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Not because I get angry when he goes and does “fun” things without me. Not because of any other stupid, petty reason you can possibly come up with.

I’m envious.

envy

My husband is a wonderful man and I have absolutely ZERO complaints when it comes to him and the things he does. He provides everything we need. He works hard, sets goals, and successfully accomplishes everything he sets out to do. He is honest, loyal, trustworthy, caring, considerate, optimistic, understanding, and loving. On top of all that, he’s charming, just as goofy as I am, and incredibly handsome.

Heart, be still!

I KNOW he doesn’t have it easy. He sometimes works from 5:00 AM until 7:00 PM. Sometimes he’s gone for weeks at a time, with no communication. He has to deal with people patronizing him pretty frequently and his schedule is NEVER the same. He’s often away from us. BUT, when he IS home, I’m envious.

Because being at home with the kids and taking care of the house is basically my “job,” it’s kind of a given that I will always be here with them (unless I’ve had time to make plans for something). So when he’s home, it’s easy for him to say (after asking if he’s needed for anything or if we have plans), “Hey honey! I’m heading out to the range for the day,” or “Do you mind if I go meet up with the guys for breakfast?”

Do I have issues with him doing these things? Nope. I never have, unless it interferes with prior plans. Do I resent him when he makes plans without me? Never. He deserves time to himself to do the things he enjoys as well. Can I do this too? Well, yes… kind of.

I know that he has zero issues with watching the kids while I go and do something I want to do. He has told me this more times than I can count, and I appreciate it more than I can say. However, it still requires planning and a fair amount of work before I can head out the door and that makes it frustrating.

Because being “Mom” is my “job,” it is, always has been, and always will be my duty to ensure that my children have everything they could possibly need and that my husband has everything he needs before I go anywhere. So… diapers, snacks, nap times, what to cook for dinner, clean sippy cups, etc. Then I’ve gotta get myself ready… it always feels like it’s a much bigger production than it should be for just a few hours to myself.

This is going to sound kind of silly but when he says he’s going to do something, I find myself thinking, “Damn! He beat me to it.. again!” See, most of my girlfriends are parents too. So if one of them calls me up to do something, it usually doesn’t happen until later in the afternoon. If he makes plans, he usually knows before 2:00 PM. By the time a friend calls, it’s like 3:30… I’m in yoga pants with no bra and I ain’t moving (just kidding… but seriously).

I think I’m just going to make a master calendar and pick one day each month and write “DO NOT PLAN ANYTHING! THIS IS MY DAY. RESERVED!” on a random Saturday.

Then he can’t beat me to it and I’ll have plenty of time to plan. 😉

Worrywart Mommy

Image

Preschool.

School in general is somewhat of a touchy topic for me because I had a rough time with it. Not so much with the actual class portion of it all; more so with the kids. Kids are MEAN. They say mean things. They judge. They pick on other kids. Feelings get hurt. Blah blah blah. I wasn’t one of those kids that got picked on and then went and sulked in the corner though. No way. I’m too loud and too outgoing for that. Instead, I sucked it up and did my best to let things roll off my back. I discovered that I’m good at making it LOOK like things don’t bother me when in reality, I let things get to me far more easily than they should.

I’m a worrywart. I worry way too much about every little thing. I KNOW that my 3 year old is more than likely NOT going to be judged by the other 3 year olds if he has a little bit of syrup around his mouth, but it isn’t the 3 year olds I fear – it’s their moms. Moms (women in general, really) can be catty! There’s no other way to put it. And I’m not talking about ALL moms, but we all know there are catty moms out in the world. They judge your every little move:

“Her kid is wearing THAT?!”

Well, yes. My child IS wearing that. HE picked it out because I am teaching him to be an independent individual and he is learning how to make choices for himself.

 “Is that jelly I see on his cheek? Gosh, doesn’t she wipe his face?” 

Oh, that? Yeah. I guess it is. I let him wipe his own face (ya know, the whole “independent kid” thing) and then I wiped it when we got here. Kinda hard to get every last spot when they move around.

“Oh I would never send MY child to school in a stained shirt like that!”

Well…. it WAS clean – until he spilled chocolate milk on himself in the car. Whoops.

And I have one thing to say to all the judgmental, self-righteous moms out there: Take that holier-than-thou attitude and SHOVE IT.

The moms of the preschool world aren’t the only terrifying thing though. My kid was recently sent home with a progress report. Not one that says “This is how your kid is doing in math/reading/science,” but one that tells you how they are doing developmentally. Well, that makes me worry too.

When my son was about 18 months, he had several “red flags” for Autism. Anyone who has an autistic child or who has ever had some of those “red flags” come up knows how terrifying this can be. It can really make you question a lot of things. I decided to wait until his 2 year check up before making up my mind on whether I wanted him to see a specialist or not and I’m glad I did. He had zero “red flags” at that appointment and his doctor wasn’t the least bit concerned.

After working with a therapist, we determined that the reason for a lot of those “red flags” was mostly due to the fact that his biological father and I were going through a divorce around that time. Moral of that story is “Do your absolute best to never yell/argue in front of your children.”

With that being said, I still worry when it comes to my son’s development. I worry that he still isn’t caught up with the other kids his age. So when his progress report came home and there were a few things marked as “working on,” I immediately began wondering “Am I doing everything right? How much of this stuff should he REALLY be doing at this age? Do ALL kids do these things? What can I do to get him doing this?”

I’m sorry, but I think that all the growth charts and percentiles and milestones that doctors have put in place for our children are just plain stupid. I feel like many parents (and some doctors even) use these milestones as deadlines when really they are more like estimates. Your kid didn’t start crawling at 6 months? Okay. Neither did mine. They weren’t sitting at 5 months like Betty-Lou’s daughter down the street? Who gives a flip?! My son sat at 6 months and my daughter at 6 and a half months. Not walking by the time they turn one? Don’t pressure them. My son started at 11 months, a friend’s daughter started at 10 months, another friend’s daughter started at 8 months, and my daughter is now 13 months and she doesn’t even stand alone for more than a few seconds at a time. Every child is different.

Same thing with the growth charts. My son is 3 and a half and weighs 29 lbs. I worried that he was underweight because I know a lot of kids his age who weigh over 30 lbs. Well, we went to his doctor for a check up and turns out that he is perfect! Not underweight at all. He’s just a string bean. His pediatrician said that for his height to weight ratio, he is right where he should be. She also said that with him being as active as he is, he’s probably always going to be on the skinny side.

Then you have my daughter: 13 months and only 17 lbs 7 oz. She is a petite little thing. But she was 5 lbs 10 oz when she was born – she’s always been small. Her doctor wanted me to put her on formula at 9 months because she wasn’t “gaining enough weight” and was in the “zero percentile” for weight. I asked her doctor to look at her height and tell me how much she had grown – she gained several inches and was sitting at the 33 percentile mark for height. So while she didn’t “gain” any weight, she did continue to grow. Plus, she had started crawling 2 months earlier and was shedding baby fat because of it. Once I pointed those things out, her pediatrician’s whole tone changed to “Oh! Well in that case, she’s fine.”

I don’t like worrying, but I’m a mom. It’s kind of my job to worry about every little thing.

But I really wish our society didn’t try so damn hard to give us things to worry about!
C’mon world… help out the moms.
Make our lives just a LITTLE less crazy.

Marriage is not a game

My ring finger. Yes, I have a wedding ring too. (This picture was taken while my finger was healing, so I didn’t have it on).

Okay… so this is a topic that is very close to my heart. Some of you reading my blog don’t know me at all and some of you know me very well. For those of you who don’t know me at all, I have a tiny back story to go with this (it’s really NOT tiny… I’m just going to give the very short, VERY edited version).

I have been married before. Actually, I have been married two times before. This is not something I really like to talk about and I’m not exactly proud of it. I always thought of marriage as being something that you should only do once and when you ABSOLUTELY KNOW it’s the right person. I STILL feel that way. However, I learned that sometimes people get married for the WRONG reasons or to the wrong person.

BUT, I also learned a lot about how a marriage SHOULD work and what I wanted when it came to marriage.

My first marriage was most definitely for the wrong reasons. He was a nice person and had some great qualities that I admired and loved, but it was rushed and for the all the wrong reasons.

My second marriage was a combination of being for the wrong reason and to the wrong person. I was pregnant at the time and I believe that played a big roll in it. I think we both thought it was the right thing to do. Long story short, we started off with a lot of resentment and anger between us and that led to a lot of isolation and detachment… which led to more resentment and anger on both sides. A vicious cycle. Arguing became the norm in our house. I reached a point where I decided enough was enough and didn’t see a way for it to be fixed – not without both of us trying equally, and I didn’t think that would happen. I felt that divorce was the best solution. I didn’t want to be in a relationship like that and I didn’t want my son growing up in an environment that was emotionally unhealthy.

I don’t regret making that choice. Going through something like that forced me to take a very critical look at myself and what I could have done differently from the start. I decided that if I were to ever find myself in another serious relationship, I was going to do things very differently. I took a lot of time to learn about myself and what my ideal relationship is. I thought about the things I value in a person and what would be a definite deal breaker for me. I also rediscovered my faith and began growing in it and discovering what an impact it really has on my life.

Then I met the man I now call my husband.

When we started dating, I didn’t immediately think “This is the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with.” In fact, neither one of us wanted anything serious. Then again, love isn’t one of those things you can schedule or plan out.

“So, you want to realize you’re in love with me on the 5th? Let me check… Yeah, sooo that’s not gonna work with my schedule. Can it wait until March?”

As if.

I honestly can’t pinpoint the exact moment I fell in love with him. It was like a candle being lit. The spark happens and it catches the wick, you see a glow, feel a little warmth and before you know it, there is a flame there. And that flame starts off small at first, but then it gradually begins to glow brighter and grow in size.

I can tell you this: his smile is what caused that initial spark.

Before I knew it, I realized I was in love with him. The thing is, just when I think I can’t possibly love him any more than I already do, he goes and adds to the fire. The love I felt for him in the beginning is NOTHING compared to the love I have for him now. That love grows daily. I’m pretty sure I’m going to end up dying at 30 because my heart is going to explode from all the love it will be holding. That or my heart is just going to grow and grow and grow. All I know is I’m looking forward to it. I’ll die a happy woman, either way.

Loving my husband is not hard. I don’t consider it a chore. I don’t feel like it’s a competition where we are trying to one up each other and I do my best to not ask too much of him. I make an effort to treat him with respect, at all times. I take him into consideration with every decision I make. I’m open with him. I tell him I love him every chance I get. I make spending time with him, alone, a priority.

Best part of it all is that I do these things and it’s all reciprocated. There are times where he returns my love and then some. He does this with no expectations of reward. He’s not the type of person to think “Well if I help with the dishes, maybe she’ll let me go to the range.” (He knows I won’t tell him “No,” unless we have something planned) Instead, he does things because he thinks it’s something I will like or because he recognizes it’s something I would appreciate. He is considerate and I appreciate that by itself.

It’s absolutely amazing how wonderful marriage can be.

To be honest, I was surprised the first time I ever had that thought. My other marriages were total flops, I grew up with divorced parents, and divorce is now a pretty common thing in our society. People crack jokes about life being over once you get married, how your sex life is going to take a dive into the dumps after a few months and never recover, how there’s always going to be that “one thing” about your spouse that drives you nuts… We have a habit of making marriage sound like this awful commitment.

Aside from those things, I see a lot of people getting really defensive when it comes to marriage. Far too often I have seen my friends complaining online about how their husband didn’t bother to help them with the dishes after dinner or how their wife is always complaining that they don’t pay enough attention to them. Unfortunately, social media only adds to this problem.

People vent to everyone BUT their spouse. I’ll admit that I’ve been guilty of this in the past, but I realized how destructive it can be and learned from it. I don’t do this with my husband. Ever. If I ever have a problem with something he has done or if I’m having an issue of my own, he is the first person I go to. We talk about whatever the issue is and then that’s it. I feel a million times better and in the long run, so does he because I’m not posting crap about it all over Facebook and sharing our problems with the world.

Our marriage is between US. I made vows to my HUSBAND – not my husband, Aunt Martha, Uncle Ryan, Grandma, Grandpa, my girl friends, old friends from high school, my best friend’s brother, or anyone else. So if I only made vows to ONE person, why share every single problem with all those other people? It’s just not right. It’s disrespectful to your marriage and places your spouse in an awkward position because now they have all these people looking at them and thinking, “Why did you do that?!”

Are those people going to work with you on fixing the issue? No. They aren’t. They are going to pat you on the back and say things like “Oh, honey! I’m so sorry!” or trash talk your spouse – worst part is, you’re probably not giving them the full story and now your spouse looks like the bad guy. That’s not fair to them.

Want to know the secret to having a happy marriage?

The trick is making a conscious effort. Marriage takes a lot of work – it doesn’t maintain itself. You have to get up every day and think “I’m going to do everything I can to put a smile on their face,” and then DO IT. Treat your spouse the EXACT way you want to be treated. It’s as simple as that. Being kind, courteous, considerate, and respectful can go a long way. This is true of any relationship.

I don’t do anything because my husband “tells” me to do it. This isn’t because I’m stubborn (I am) or because I’m being defiant. It’s because my husband never “tells” me to do anything. Not once has my husband ever said something like, “You need to go do  the dishes,” or “You have to go vacuum the house.” But he has said things like, “It’s really nice to come home to a clean house,” or “Could you make sure this gets taken care of?” I hear things like that and my first thought is “I like coming home to a clean house too,” or “I really should have taken care of that when I said I would earlier,” and then I make sure I do what it takes to make those things happen. Not because he “told” me to do it, but because I know it will make him happy and he will appreciate it.

As his wife, I want nothing more than to see my husband happy. If I have to do a little bit of work to make that happen, then you’re damn right I’m going to do it – even if he doesn’t ask me to.

After all, marriage is about one thing: love.

“LOVE: unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.”

Sweet Tea, Chocolate, and Laundry

My in-laws came to visit yesterday, stayed the night, and then headed home this afternoon. It was nice having them come to visit. I know they came to see me and the kids and spend some time with us, but I was thanking them for coming by the time they had to go home. Life has been hectic around here lately! I’ve had clean laundry sitting on the couch in my laundry room for weeks. Needless to say, the holidays kind of threw me off track. I’m pretty sure that anyone who has ever fallen behind on household chores knows how difficult it can be to catch up… add two tiny people to the mix and it’s even more challenging.

We got up this morning and I made chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast. After we finished eating, my father-in-law went down to the laundry room and started folding all my laundry. What. A. Lifesaver. I went down and helped out some, but I mostly just carried it all upstairs and put it away. And my mother-in-law folded all the clothes in my son’s room and put them away for. I will forever be grateful for this!

So now all my laundry is folded and put away – WOO HOO! I feel as if someone came and lifted a giant cinder block off my shoulders. To add on to that good news, I actually got a full night of sleep last night! I’m usually up pretty late, but I was worn out last night. I climbed into bed at 11:00 PM and slept like a rock until 8:00 AM.

Despite getting a full night’s rest, I started feeling sleepy again by about 11:30 AM. So I did what just about any southerner would do – I poured myself a glass of tea. I grabbed the spoon I set out on the counter, before pouring my glass, and dunked it into my tea. I stirred it around a couple of times before I finally looked down and thought, “Oh wait… this isn’t a spoon!”

And it WASN’T a spoon. It was a knife. The one I had used that morning to cut up my son’s chocolate chip pancakes. And it was still covered in chocolate.

I sighed and then proceeded to make a face at the knife that was similar to this one:

Then I inspected my tea to see just how much chocolate had ended up in my glass. I decided it was safe enough and that I would hate to waste good tea, so I did what any mom who hates to be wasteful would do – I drank it and decided I was far too tired.

So now I’m going to go do what any exhausted mom would do – go to sleep!

Thank you SO much for all the help today John and Jonie! I appreciate it and love you guys!

(PS: My in-laws are the best. Hands down.)

Life on display

I feel pretty confident in saying that pretty much every parent has felt eyes watching them, judging their parenting, at some point during their travels through parenthood. I know without a doubt that I have. And even if no one is ACTUALLY judging you, it still feels that way at times.

You go to the store and your toddler has a meltdown, out to eat and the baby is throwing food on the floor, go to breastfeed your newborn in public because she’s screaming her head off and hungry, or your little boy is asking you a TOTALLY inappropriate question in the checkout line at the grocery store and it’s instantly all eyes on you. But it doesn’t happen just in public. It can happen in your own home too.

Say your water heater breaks so you call someone to come out. They arrive and you realize you’re dressed in pajama pants with your hair falling out of the messy bun you put it in that morning and spit up on your shirt. Then you look around the house. Oh. Shit. Toys everywhere, the baby took off his diaper, and Cheerio crumbs are ground into your carpet. You wish you could ask them to come back in 30 minutes, but you can’t. It needs to be fixed and they are here. So you reluctantly open the door, baby on your hip, and apologize for the mess – it’s been one of those days. You show them where the water heater is, making note of every little mess you spot along the way.

I have done this SO MANY TIMES. Not that exact scenario, but you get my point. Sometimes there just isn’t enough time in one day to get everything done. Other days, you feel as if you could conquer the world. Even on the days when your house is perfectly clean, you can still feel like you are judged.

For example, say you’re part of a playgroup and it’s your turn to host a play date – you clean your house from top to bottom, plan out super fun activities that you probably don’t do on a daily basis because you’re usually too busy trying to stay on top of things, get together healthy snacks and arrange them in a Pinterest worthy display, and then begin greeting the parents and kids. I know my house is NEVER like that on a regular basis. My children are far too energetic for that to be possible. If your house is always perfect and pristine, you have perfect aliens for children and I really DESPERATELY want to know your secrets!

See the thing is, I WANT that. I have seen a lot of blog posts lately where it seems like moms are almost admitting defeat – saying they are okay with having a messy house because it means more time with their families. I see where they are coming from, but I don’t want to do that. I’m not saying that I don’t want more time with my family, because I do. More than anything. But I know it’s possible to balance the two. If you’re content with having laundry heaped on your couch, dishes in the sink, toothpaste stuck to the bathroom sink, and Goldfish crumbs on your dining room floor, then more power to you. I can’t do it. I don’t judge when I see houses that are like that because that’s how my house is a lot of the time. But there is one person I judge for it all the time: me. I know it’s perfectly acceptable to let some of the little things go from time to time, but I also know it’s completely realistic to have a house that stays clean the majority of the time.

Here’s my theory:

If I sacrifice a little time with my family now to get our house in order, organized, and clean, and then find a routine that works well for me and stick to it, then that means I’ll spend less time cleaning later and I’ll get to spend more time with my family. THAT is what I want. I want the perfect house not only because I secretly have OCD and it drives me nuts when things are out of place, but also because I believe that is the type of house my family deserves and I want to provide it for them. That’s my job.

I LIKE seeing this every time I walk into my kitchen.

Right now, I’m not a big fan of having people over to the house (with the exception of family). I’m making changes so I can have my “dream house.” Maybe then I won’t be so afraid to have my life “on display.”

“Only the beginning…”

So you’ve stumbled across my blog.

Good.

Welcome!

I’m Calli. I’m married to a wonderful man and I’m a young mom with two beautiful children.

This is me… and my babies. 🙂

Like many other moms out there, being a mom is something I’ve had to take one day at a time. Some days are glorious – full of smiles, cuddles, laughter, and love. Then there are days where I want to put myself in a day long time-out because I’ve had it up to HERE with the noise and tears and I might go crazy if one more toy travels outside of the playroom and into my freshly cleaned living room.

So this blog is about my journey through motherhood. Looking back on 2013 made me take a close look at my parenting techniques and I decided I didn’t really like what I saw. I’m a stay at home mom (SAHM) and it’s something I struggle with daily. I don’t like being at home 24/7. I could come up with a whole list of things I’d rather do than be at home: go explore a new hiking trail, go downtown and sit in my favorite coffee house with a good book, take a day trip to the beach, spend time with friends, go somewhere different and see what kind of cool things there are to do… the list goes on.

Now don’t get me wrong, I LOVE my children and I am grateful that I am able to stay at home with them; God only knows how much I would worry if someone else were caring for them full time! But I HATE being cooped up in the house. Sure, I could take the kids out to do things and be out of the house all day, but I would have to plan it all around their schedule. My kids don’t have a strict schedule, but they definitely have one. It’s pretty high up there on the list of important kid-related things, for me. In fact, I pride myself on the fact that they have such a good schedule.

If I want to leave the house for a few hours I have to make sure the activity won’t interfere with nap time or that we will be close by to a place with lunch and then I have to load up my car with everything I need for myself and two tiny people. So much work for such a short time frame.

Anyway, being a SAHM has it’s perks (I get paid in the sweetest hugs and kisses) but it’s still challenging. Not only do I have to take care of both kiddos, I run an entire household. It’s a lot of pressure and sometimes it really gets to me and stresses me out. When I get stressed, I tend to let trivial things frustrate me and am quick to respond in a sharp manner. This is something I am not proud of – especially when it involves my kids.

I have never gone off the deep end or anything like that, but I’ve definitely had my moments of screaming and being so stressed that the only thing that seems to help is sitting down and crying. Those moments happen more than I care to admit. When I looked back on the past year and saw that, I decided I didn’t like it. As my dad would say, “If you can’t change your situation, change yourself.” This is one of those times where I can’t really change my situation, but I CAN change the way I see things, how I respond, and how I handle issues that may come up. In other words: I need to be PROACTIVE and not REACTIVE. (See Dad?! I DID listen when I was a teenager! I just thought I was brilliant and didn’t need to heed your advice. I’m paying for it now… Haha.)

You may be wondering where on earth I came up with the name for this blog. Well, it kind of has two meanings behind it:
1. When you’re a mom, SAHM or working mom, dishes are a common theme. It seems like there are always dishes to be done, therefore “I’ve been washing dishes” is a common answer to the question “What are you doing?”
2. I kind of got it through the song “Washing Dishes” by Jack Johnson. I feel like the lyrics are a pretty good fit for what I’m wanting to do with my life and with this blog:
“In the morning when the world came awake
Before you knew me I knew your name
It was painted across the day as it breaks
An impression in your window frame

When you saw me out your window
Singing from the garden
Only the beginning
I’m only getting started
I don’t mind the digging
Baby, I’ll work harder
I’ve been washing dishes
Singing from the bottom

But one day I’ll be running this place
And one day I could take you away
But I want you to wonder what’s my name
Because I need you to want me the same

When you saw me washing dishes
Singing from the bottom
Only the beginning
I’m only getting started
I don’t mind the digging
Baby, I’ll work harder
I’ve been in the ashes
Singing from the garden

Where everything reaches for the sun
Still unsure of what we’ll become
But I need you to reach out to me
See in me more than I could see
Because I’m afraid that

One day is only two words we say
I don’t want to let them get in the way
Of all the plans that we should be making right now
Right now

Who took the time and where did they take it
I want to take it back
I don’t want them to break it
All these plans that we should be making right now
Right now”

That song says it all. I want to change the way I do things, as a parent, so I can make life better for my family as a whole. I don’t want to keep saying “one day.” That “one day” starts right now.

So join me – It’s going to be a great ride!